butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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