I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
