Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
