we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
