I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
