He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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