Pants 0. Shit 1.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
