Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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