I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
