Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
