her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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