Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize