all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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