Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
