the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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