so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
