I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
