We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
