id be glad to
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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