i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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