hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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