so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
