I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
