Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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