talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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