Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Randomize
