Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
