YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
