Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
