My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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