And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
