What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
