I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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