walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
