woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
