We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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