I love black thongs
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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