you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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