Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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