I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
