you would pick up someone in the library
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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