Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
