he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
