My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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