what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
