we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
