We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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