The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize