I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
