Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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