Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
