I got her a Nickelback box set.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize