Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
