How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize