well I can't set my house on fire every night
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The power of my boobs compel you
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
