You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
