This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
