there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
did i just pee glitter
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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