its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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