I smell stomach acid.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The struggles of a small town man whore
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
