You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
