If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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