arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
