Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
