Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize