Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
