I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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