i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
