her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i think i have herpe
just one?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize