Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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