I hate all girls vehemently.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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