I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She bit a glass in half.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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