I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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