Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.

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(831): View more from California

'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason

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(309): View more from Illinois

so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school

(1-309): View more from Illinois

awkward

(309): View more from Illinois

no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.

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(712): View more from Iowa

He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!

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(913): View more from Kansas

Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top

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(251): View more from Alabama

Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers

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(618): View more from Illinois

How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?

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