Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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