Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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