No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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