I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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