don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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