Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
